hello.
well, christmas is drawing to an end soon. this year wasn't too action packed for me. i was too busy with errand to feel the spirit and i only caught it while doing my christmas shopping on the day before christmas eve and spent 250$. it felt kinda good, buying my loved ones presents, making cards till 530am. i guess retail therapy also works for 'christmas spirit'.

on christmas eve i went to marcus' place for dinner. his dad made a hearty meal with really good ham. after that, i scooted over to siaoting's and we just sat around her living room watching boring movies and played jenga. it has been a long time since i saw the 5kis and it was really nice to see them and gossip about our sec school friends' lives.

on christmas morning, i went over for church service and shared a little about my past with the congregation. i ws really nervous and rehearsed my speech almost during the whole sermon. but i'm glad i did it. i hear many people felt that they could understand what i was talking about. really heart-warming to know that my story could actually make people feel encouraged. praise Jesus! that night, i scrambled to whip up christmas dinner for the family. i would have seem like an amateur if i was compared to marcus' dad though. hahah, i made my usual: potato cheese pudding, roasted pork chops with chipotle sausages (topped with mushroom sauce), smoked salmon salad and sister made chocolate pears after i showed her nigella's recipe on youtube. i enjoyed the chocolate pears very much. :) we opened presents and mother gave me a 200$ angbao after i complained to sister that mom is beginning to abandon me. mother actually announced to my sisters that i am over 21 so i get nothing for christmas!!! so its obvious that the money was a hurried pity christmas present (i'm not saying i didn't like it though).

well, i still got a few more presents to give out and i can feel january edging in. there comes my big plan to run to. to be honest, i'm really really frightened about it because it's just not who i think i can ever be. but if God had asked me to, i guess i better listen. but then again, that's the model answer. everyone knows after saying something so right, after hearing yourself say it, you'll start to question yourself a lot and start to revise all the bad case scenarios in your head. that's where the confusing part comes in. sigh. i'm delirious...

maybe i'll blog again when i'm less unsettled and more ready. sigh, i miss my friends. ade, johnny, siaoting, eugene, samuel... if you are reading this, let's go for one-on-one dinner sometime soon. i still haven't got my handphone so i guess it's email or friendster/facebook messaging for now.

have a merry christmas till the twelve days is over. or at least until shopping centres starts playing that annoying clanging chinese new year music (why can't they make jazzy versions?!) take care and happy holidays.

oh, twilight as baaad.